Where is the hickey?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
