What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
