This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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