The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My penis needs a shock collar
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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