How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
