I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
whose parrot is this?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
