I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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