she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
