But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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