In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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