I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize