Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you had me at cake vodka
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
