im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
