honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
how does that bad decision feel?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
