we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
