I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
