8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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