i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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