my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize