There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
