I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
