after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
