You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
