He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
