Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
