YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
