There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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