you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
