I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
