I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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