you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You can't motorboat a personality
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
