I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
