If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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