There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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