Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
