honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
