If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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