Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
