everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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