He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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