I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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