as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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