Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
