omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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