i just made my gag reflex go away.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
