my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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