I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
