This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
