Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
