big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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