it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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