Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
