im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize