He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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