so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize