we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
