i may or may not be watching the land before time
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so let's talk penis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
