Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
