Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
