everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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