i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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