What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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