She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
