Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
