dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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